🌟 Triple Kings Cake™
Ultra Exotic Indica Royalty 👑
“Not just top-shelf. This is a whole throne.”
Testing: 27.12%
Type: Indica-Dominant 💜
Profile: Dessert Cream x Gas x Funk 🍰🧊
Cut: ✂️ First Cut Exclusive — Never Released Before
Grown: Small-Batch • Living Soil • In-House Cultivated in Cali
Visual Grade: A+++/Super Exotic 🔮
Drop Status: 🔥 Ultra Limited – Once It’s Gone, It’s GONE
🔍 Strain Overview:
Triple Kings Cake isn’t just a strain—it’s an event. The moment you crack the jar, you’re hit with an aromatic wave of creamy vanilla cake frosting, folded into a deep, layered funk that whispers skunk, sweet gas, and something unmistakably royal.
This is a First Cut Exclusive—meaning this particular phenotype and cure has never before hit the market. Hand-selected from micro-pheno hunting, grown with pure living soil, and meticulously slow-cured, this flower is the type you remember for years and tell your friends “you had to be there.”
🎨 Visuals That Redefine Exotic
If you thought you’d seen pretty weed before, think again.
Each nug of Triple Kings Cake looks like it was engineered in a lab for beauty. We’re talking:
💜 Radiant purple hues layered with hot pink bursts
🧡 Vivid orange and neon yellow pistils winding through the surface like electric veins
🧊 Blanketed in a whiteout trichome storm that makes it look freshly dipped in powdered sugar or crystallized frost
And when you break it open?
💥 The inner core hits you with an explosive pink crystal interior — shimmering, frosty, and wildly photogenic. You WILL film this. It’s like peeling open a geode made of THC.
This isn’t flower. This is alien art.
👃 Aroma & Flavor Profile: Next-Level Terp Symphony
From the second the seal breaks:
🎂 Top notes of sweet vanilla buttercream
🧄 Middle tones of creamy dough, garlic skunk, and slight pine funk
🧬 A bottom layer of dessert gas that coats the air in richness
The inhale is impossibly smooth — think cannabis cake batter dusted in sugar and diesel — and the exhale leaves behind a cool, lingering aftertaste of sweet cream with just a kiss of sour funk.
You don’t just taste it. You feel the terps coat your tongue.
😵💫 Effects: Full-Bodied Royal Shutdown
This is a heavy-hitting indica, no cap. Within minutes of first pull:
🛋️ Muscles drop, tension melts
🎧 Music becomes multidimensional
🤐 Social filter disappears — you’re locked into “float mode”
Perfect for:
End-of-day rituals
Deep creative daydreams
Couch + movie sessions
Or simply zoning out while staring at the nug you just broke down
Triple Kings Cake leaves you stoned, satisfied, and semi-speechless.
🌱 Grow + Cure: Artisan-Level Craftsmanship
Grown with intention. Cured with obsession. Packaged with pride.
🧪 Pheno-hunted by hand from ultra-exotic genetics
🪴 Living soil grown — full organic microbial life for rich terp expression
🌿 Cold-cured over multiple weeks to preserve trichomes & lock in flavor
🚜 In-house cultivation team with obsessive quality control
👃 Every bud hand-trimmed to protect its terpene-rich resin head
This is ultra-artisan flower—crafted like wine, not mass-produced weed.
📦 Bulk Pricing (LIMITED QUANTITIES):
Half Pound (HP): $1,050
Pound (P): $1,900
Once it’s gone, it’s gone. No re-cuts. No re-batches. No warehouse stash.
🧠 Final Thoughts: This Strain Is HIM. Period.
There’s good weed, then there’s conversation-piece weed.
Triple Kings Cake is in a league of its own:📸 The kind you film as you break it open
💬 The kind you bring up in group chats unprompted
🧊 The kind that feels like a flex just holding it
This strain doesn’t whisper. It announces.
Do NOT miss this drop.
